Which Comes First: The Depression or the Low Serotonine?

I’ve always been of the frame of mind, concerning myself, that my mind is more powerful than any physical aspect that controls my body. There is no depression that I can’t eventually knock myself out of if I choose to do so, and how I react to things, good and bad, is entirely a product of my own doing and the choices I make. I do my best not to blame others or chemistry for any of my shortcomings, and even though I have friends diagnosed and medicated for various psychological maladies, I always wonder what came first: does the chemistry cause the issue, or does the issue cause the chemistry? While I admit that the medication appears to work, I seriously question if it’s actually helping, or if it is simply oppressing a problem that would better be settled through psychological or environmental and behavioral therapy than through psychiatric drugs.

I will admit that I become quite jealous of the medication when it comes to a large tiff induced by their various issues conflicting with one another only further pushed by their aggressive personalities. I have no happy pill to make it all go away, and I end up with my nerves so shot for several days I can’t stop shaking and concentration is a difficult task. I’m the passive peaceful one, the one the compromises rather than saying, “Here, this is wrong, you fix it,” which is how I feel at the end of these arguments when I get caught in the middle. All I want is for everybody to understand one another’s issues, sit down peacefully, and try to start a dialogue to figure out how to avoid such problems in the future, but schedules and prides don’t allow for that option very well. So here I sit with an anxiety-induced asthma attack, hoping things work out but feeling helplessly trapped. I would love an anxiety suppressor right about now. The irony of it all.

By Crystal Nichols in Psychology on February 20, 2005